warrants are, like, so eighties

Dropping its “we’d tell you, but then we’d have to kill you” stance, President Bush and his allies have begun openly speaking out in support of the administration’s policy of warrantless eavesdropping on conversations American citizens have with overseas residents.

Prior to President Bush, the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA) allowed the government to eavesdrop on these communications only if a secret judge sitting on a secret court issued a secret warrant. This level of openness and accountability is a luxury we just can’t afford anymore.

And so the President has done away with the whole “court order” thing and gone straight to the eavesdropping. While this has raised some eyebrows, a careful system of checks and balances has been maintained ensuring that no such eavesdropping may take place until approved by not only the President, but by the people who work for him. Kind of like in an Enron audit.

The President also loosened the standards under which the National Security Agency may conduct the eavesdropping. Under FISA, they had to establish “probable cause.” Now they only have to show a “reason to believe” (which is just one step above “What the heck, why not?”). Among the acceptable “reasons to believe” would be “having an Arab name,” “sounding Arab,” and “enjoying falafel.”

Although these actions may appear to be illegal, the President claims that Congress gave him tacit approval when it passed the “Authorization for Use of Military Force” legislation shortly after 9/11. Sure, it doesn’t explicitly authorize his actions, but the President tends to take a more activist, expansive view of the text, believing the legislation to be more of a “living document” in which his authority resides within a penumbra or if not that, then almost certainly an emanation. Surely the wise men who put finger to keyboard one-fifth of a score ago didn’t mean for us to take the words literally, frozen in place for all time.

Regardless, the president remains confident that the American people support his efforts.

How he knows this remains classified.

J.