Happy New Year?

Sure, if you’re insensitive to societal hegemony, go right ahead and wish everyone you see a happy new year. 

But just so you know, if someone’s Muslim, you missed it by three days.  Chinese?  You’re over a month early.  Hindu?  Well, you missed that by… okay, no one knows when the Hindu new year begins, but still, you’re almost certainly trampling on their traditions as well.

You probably had no idea you were engaging in a form of cultural genocide, born as you were into a patriarchal power structure that rewards conformity, but the least you could do is suppress the urge to wish everyone you see a happy new year as each time you do it, you run the very real risk of offending someone.

Better just to stay in your house until the danger passes.

We think Arbor Day is a safe bet.

Okay, maybe not...

J.