Some Modern Airport Etiquette

That 50-pound backpack of yours that sticks out approximately three feet? Don’t worry about that at all. People will gladly dive out of the way as you turn to get some change out of your pocket. It keeps us sharp.

If your party of seven, with luggage in tow, is confused or lost, be sure to stop in the middle of the hallway, spreading out as much as possible.  You know you’re doing well if people have to detour through the Cinnabon to get by. Extra points if you are all simultaneously talking on your cell phones.

If you are a boarding agent, be sure not to engage passengers in any way (even a simple “good morning” is absolutely prohibited), and simply continue your conversation with your fellow employee about what you did the night before.  We find that much more interesting than, say, having any confidence we’re boarding the correct flight.

Try not to chuckle to yourself as you post snarky comments on your blog.  TSA will NOT be amused.

J.