On Reflection, Calling Government Projects “Shovel Ready” Might Have Been a Poor Choice of Words

Like many Americans, we were curious as to how our Stimulus dollars (Thank you, communist Chinese government!) might be used.

So we went to the Virginia site of Recovery.gov to see which extremely stimulative emergency projects that clearly support national priorities and so are appropriately the purview of the federal government are being considered for funding.  Among the proposals were:

Sidewalk for Little Florida Road in Poquoson – “Installation of a sidewalk/bikepath along this road would connect the existing sidewalk on Wythe Creek Road to the sidewalk on Poquoson Avenue:” $1,250,000

You know what we’re thinking?  Damn those Republicans for opposing a sidewalk that would connect the existing sidewalk on Wythe Creek Road to the sidewalk on Poquoson Avenue.  Damn them all to hell!

Southwest Virginia Teacher Employment Fair: $10,000

Sure, there are few things more essential to the preservation of our way of life than funding a southwest Virginia teacher employment fair but let’s be honest, that money could be better spent on more important things.  Such as funding 10 seconds worth of losses at General Motors.

Establish a “town atmosphere” and alter the perspective of approaching traffic in Warrenton: $450,000.

Now this vital project for which we must saddle future generations with debt is only in the “concept” phase, so even if approved we shouldn’t expect to feel the dramatic impact that a new town atmosphere and altered perspective would generate for some time, however we believe Joe Biden has estimated that it will lose as many as 400 jobs a day.  No, wait… gain 400 jobs.  A month?  Aw heck, he was never that good with numbers anyway.  Or names. Or even remembering the difference between the two.

Fiber optic modems for The City of Fairfax: $300,000

The City of Fairfax completed the installation of fiber optic cables connecting all their traffic signal controllers to the operations center but apparently neglected to actually install modems that could use them. So, you know, it would be kind of nifty if they got those.  And that someone else pay for them.  (We’re thinking “the rich.”)

The Energy Innovation Infrastructure Program, Fairfax County - “Never before has there been an infrastructure readily available to create a significant multiplying effect on America’s ability… develop game-changing energy innovations… produce highly visible, tangible results… self sustaining innovation model: $36,000,000

Our only real concern is whether there will be sufficient change-agents available to break through the silos and ensure that synergistic efficiencies will empower both diversity and global village B2B value adds through a core-competency focused customer-centric vision.  Otherwise, spot on.

Now, these are only proposals at the moment, so we can only hope for now that they get the attention they deserve.

And at last check there were nine other states with their Recovery sites already up and ready for your reading pleasure.

Enjoy!

J.

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