The Next Time Ben Bernanke Testifies Before The United States Senate

Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke: …In conclusion, let me say that the Federal Reserve remains committed to keeping long-term interest rates low through the aggressive, yet prudent purchase of up to $300 billion in United States Treasuries and $1.25 trillion in Mortgage Backed Securities.  This $1.5 trillion injection into the credit markets should ensure that our troubled housing sector is placed on a path of sustainable recovery through the mechanism of lower refinancing costs.

Thank you, and I welcome your questions.

Senator Judd Gregg: Thank you, Mr. Chairman.  I only have a few questions.  First, with mortgage rates now actually rising in tandem with long-term Treasuries, do you expect that you will have to increase your purchases of Treasuries and Mortgages in the open market beyond the $1.5 trillion you’ve already committed, to bring the rates back down?
Bernanke: Bring the rates down?
Gregg: Yes, you said you’re purchasing securities to keep rates down.
Bernanke: I said that?
Gregg: Yes, you said that.
Bernanke: Because that doesn’t sound like me.
Gregg: You said it a few minutes ago.
Bernanke:  Well, maybe that was someone else. I have that kind of face.  Let me assure you, the Federal Reserve is certainly not buying securities to somehow lower interest rates. That's just crazy talk.
Gregg: Then why are you buying them?
Bernanke: It just seemed like a good investment.  My wife has been on me about the 401K if you know what I mean.
Gregg: Now wait one second here. Just because rates are rising now doesn't mean you can suddenly deny ever...
Committee Chairman Kent Conrad: The gentleman’s time has expired.  Senator Murray?

Senator Patty Murray: Thank you Mr. Chairman. There have been some concerns raised that your aggressive moves in providing liquidity might lead to hyperinflation.
Bernanke: My aggressive what now?
Murray: Your aggressive moves in providing liquidity, such as injecting $1.5 trillion into the securities markets.
Bernanke: Who said I was doing that?
Murray: You did.
Bernanke: I can’t say that’s ringing any bells.
Murray: Hold on, I even have the minutes from your last FOMC meeting.  Just a second, let me find the right page, okay, here we go, right here it says…

Did you just shave off your beard?

Bernanke: I can’t say I was ever really fond of facial hair.
Murray: You’ve had a beard as long as I’ve known you.
Bernanke:  You must be thinking of my brother, Ben.
Murray: Mr. Bernanke, you are making a mockery of this hearing and in so doing showing great disrespect for the United States Senate.
Bernanke: ¿Como? ¿Estados Unidos? No entiendo. Tengo que ir ahora…

J.