Have You Created And/Or Saved A Job Today?

President Obama regularly uses the expression “create or save” when extolling the impact his economic plans will have on the nation’s employment picture, most recently when he planned to accelerate stimulus spending to “create or save” 600,000 jobs over the summer after having already claimed to have created or saved 150,000 jobs since the stimulus bill was passed, a period during which 2 million net jobs were lost.

The promise to, “create or save” jobs really doesn't, on a purely 100% technical basis, mean anything since it is impossible to measure, and so success can be claimed regardless of the results.  But that is not what is important. 

What is important is that the media is buying it!

And when something is working, you stick with it.  Expect to see the following headlines in the near future:

The New York Times:

Obama Hails Success In Stopping or Reducing North Korean Nuclear Program

[Washington, DC] In prepared remarks today, President Obama noted that “Already, we see signs that my administration’s policies towards North Korea are beginning to yield concrete results, having reduced the number of nuclear devices detonated by the DPRK by three. But this is no time to let our guard down.  Rest assured, I will continue my policy of relentless expressions of condemnation combined with an unwavering commitment to personal leisure time until we have completely eradicated the threat of nuclear proliferation in southeast Asia or reduced it from the levels it might otherwise have been at absent my efforts.

The Washington Post:

President’s Education Proposals Expected to Ensure Students' Knowledge of History Will Increase or Be Forgotten Less

[Chicago, Illinois] Speaking before the National Education Association, President Obama praised his increase in education spending saying that “I want students in our public schools to receive as good an education as students in our private schools so long as my daughters aren’t exposed to the riff-raff and members of the teachers' union aren’t exposed to competition.”

Weekly World News:

Octomom Pregnant Again with Alien Pupae

[Titan, Saturn] Speaking from the Saturnian Battle Carrier Vggsytgua, President Obama noted that his health care policies are directly responsible for creating or saving 12 Octomom alien pupae or possibly larva because really, who can tell...

No doubt you would like to take advantage of this proven method of ensuring that you are credited with success while completely avoiding accountability for failure.  It’s actually easier than you think!

At Work:
You: Boss, I guarantee that I’ll save or preserve eight new sales accounts this month.
Boss: That’s great, it’s just what we… Wait, what?
You: Gotta go get started!  See you at bonus time!

At Home:
You: I’m going to lose or not regain 12 additional pounds this month.
Wife: So you’ll at least keep your weight steady?
You: That’s not exactly what I said…

At school:
Teacher: If a=3 and c=28, what is the value of b?
You: What do you need it to be?

J.

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