Top Ten Reasons Why Obama Failed in Getting The IOC To Award The 2016 Summer Olympics To Chicago

As it turned out, despite The President’s personal appeal, Chicago didn’t even make it past the first round.  However, there were a number of perfectly understandable reasons for this:

Top Ten Reasons Why Obama Failed in Getting The IOC To Award The 2016 Summer Olympics To Chicago

10) They were afraid athletes would be overly intimidated by Michelle Obama’s toned arms.

9) They knew if Obama got the Olympics, it would be the final death knell for bowling.

8) Every time the subject of diving came up, Oprah would yell “cannonball!!!”

7) Were turned off when they heard Rod Blagojevich had put the Summer Games on eBay. 

6) Truth be told, Obama inherited the problem of Chicago losing the Olympics from Bush.

5) Five Words: Master. Of. Ceremonies. Joe. Biden.

4) They kind of lost their confidence in him when he called the 2016 summer games, “an Olympics of necessity.”

3) Obama ran out of jobs to offer committee members.

2) They refused to adopt Obama’s suggested “update” to the old Olympic symbol:

And the number one reason Obama failed in getting the IOC to award the 2016 Summer Olympics to Chicago is:

1) They never intended to award the games to Chicago in the first place.  IOC President Jacques Rogge had simply had a little bit too much wine one night last week and bet Evaluation Commission Chairman Nawal El Moutawekel that he could get the leader of the Free World to hop a plane to Copenhagen in the middle of two hot wars and ongoing turmoil in his legislative agenda. 

Looks like someone’s getting a free dinner!

J.