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November 19, 2009

CONSENSUS WATCH – 11/19/2009

An ongoing series dedicated to vigorously monitoring emerging threats to The Consensus that global warming is real, caused by humans, and must be addressed at all costs. Because without consensus, scientific conclusions would remain vulnerable to new data.

Proponents of global warming have been caught engaging in some harmless exaggerations this past week while discussing the various anthropogenic climate threats facing our planet.

First, Senator John Kerry, in explaining the need for a climate change bill, noted that in  “the last eight years emissions in the United States of America in greenhouse gasses went up four times faster than in the 1990s.”

Unfortunately, a strict reading of the data indicates that greenhouse gas emissions did not go up the “four times faster” claimed by Senator Kerry but slightly less, in the sense that they went up many times slower, not faster. But in fairness to the Senator, he was correct in noting that there was a period once known as “the 1990s.”

Second, Al Gore, making the argument for geothermal energy, explained that temperatures in the interior of the earth run at “several million degrees.”

Only a real perfectionist would point this out, but that’s off the mark.  By several orders of magnitude.

But all this ignores the fact that science isn’t so much a science as it is an art, and so we should grant a little poetic license sometimes.

For example, Einstein’s famous equation E=MC²?  A complete exaggeration, meant to help get his point across to an audience skeptical regarding the relationship between mass and energy.  (At most, E equals M multiplied by C doubled.)

Thus freed from a strict adherence to accuracy, proponents of climate change should feel free to discard factual data, which has clearly contributed to insufficient levels of hysteria among the public, and instead be more creative. 

We suggest the following lines of argument:

The amount of carbon dioxide emitted by the average SUV in just a single year doubles the total output of the Mt. St. Helens eruption.

Every time you exhale, a butterfly cries.

Polar bears, particularly vulnerable to global warming, face grave risks to their survival as temperatures rise.  Here is a polar bear as it lives in the wild today:

Cute Polar Bear

And here is a polar bear after ten years of exposure to projected levels of global warming:

Polar Bear Global Warming Victim

If oceans rise at the rate expected, by the next century, Kevin Costner will have gills.

Bookerundersea_1509075c This underwater cabinet meeting in the Maldives was NOT a stunt.  This is an actual cabinet meeting.  The entire population of the Maldives now lives under water which has wreaked havoc with the country's agriculture, gas ovens, and check writing.

These people naked on the Aletsch glacier in Switzerland had their clothes burned off… by global warming!

See how easy it is to make a compelling argument regarding The Consensus once you no longer feel imprisoned by facts and data?

Just ask President Obama.

J.

Consensus Watch T-shirt Just in time for the traditional Thanksgiving gift-giving holiday, CONSENSUS WATCH MERCHANDISE!

In addition to the “my parents fought global warming and all I got was this lousy sweatshirt” item we introduced last month, we’ve updated most of the Consensus Watch store adding T-shirts, thermoses and other items Stop Raping The Planet Shirt and improving some of the graphics ensuring that all items are guaranteed to be 63% less crappy!  Why? Because at Planet Moron, quality is Job #27

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November 19, 2009 at 09:24 PM in Global Warming with CONSENSUS WATCH | Permalink

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Comments

AlGore wasn't mistaken, he was just using a different scale. For instance, 68 deg Fahrenheit is 20 deg Celcius.

So the middle of the earth is millions of degrees in Klingon. Or Hobbit. There is definitely a scale on which he is correct.

Posted by: Michael | Nov 19, 2009 9:56:18 PM

Perhaps he was just referring to angles. Or Freemason ranks...

Posted by: Planet Moron | Nov 20, 2009 7:47:40 AM

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