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January 19, 2010

CONSENSUS WATCH – 1/19/2010

An ongoing series dedicated to vigorously monitoring emerging threats to The Consensus that global warming is real, caused by humans, and must be addressed at all costs.

Because without Consensus, scientific conclusions would have to be based on something other than hearsay.

Proponents of anthropogenic global warming have had a difficult couple of months, as the scientific foundation of their claims has come under serious question.

But The Consensus does not rely solely on scientific research.  In fact, the IPCC scientists at the United Nations, who have long been at the forefront of research into which climate factors have the greatest influence on increasing levels of global hysteria, have a number of sources from which they draw their most important conclusions.

Such as “stuff they read in a magazine somewhere.”

For example, the headline-grabbing announcement a few years ago from the IPCC that global warming would cause the Himalayan glaciers to completely melt by 2035 was based on something the researchers had remembered reading somewhere in an eight-year-old copy of New Scientist magazine. Perhaps in the dentist’s office.  Or was it the hairdresser?

Regardless, some challenged the claim saying that the data showed that the Himalayan glaciers were under no such dire threat, but those denials were simply a sign of arrogance.

Look, these guys read it in a magazine somewhere.  What more proof do you people need?

Let’s face it, “stuff someone read in a magazine somewhere,” has long served as an important source of information on which we have all grown to rely.

For example, see if this sounds familiar:

Friend #1: You want another beer?

Friend #2: Nah, I think I’ll switch to gin and tonics.

Friend #1: Did you know that if you mix your alcohol you’ll get a worse hangover?

Friend #2: Where did you hear that?

Friend #1: I read it in a magazine somewhere.

Friend #2: Wow.

Friend #1: Also, you’ll grow breasts.

With the advent of widespread access to broadband connectivity, the dissemination of information in this manner has only increased:

Friend #1: You want another beer?

Friend #2: Nah, I think I’ll switch to gin and tonics.

Friend #1: Did you know that 9/11 was an inside job, Obama isn’t a natural born citizen and Trig isn’t Sarah Palin’s son?

Friend #2: Where did you hear that?

Friend #1: I read it on the Internet somewhere.

Friend #2: Wow.

Friend #1: Also, you’ll grow breasts.

Sure, sometimes stuff you read in a magazine somewhere doesn’t always pan out, but that in no way should call into question the legitimacy of The Consensus.  In fact, if we don’t act soon to reduce carbon emissions, the ice caps will melt, people will starve, hurricanes will destroy our cities, the rivers will run with blood, and we will be beset upon by locusts.

Also, you’ll grow breasts.

We read that in a magazine somewhere.

J.

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January 19, 2010 at 04:29 PM in Global Warming with CONSENSUS WATCH | Permalink

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Comments

Just as a follow-up:

http://www.nytimes.com/cwire/2010/01/21/21climatewire-climate-science-panel-apologizes-for-himalay-25267.html

Posted by: Martin D. | Jan 21, 2010 7:27:27 PM

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