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March 18, 2011

Fat, Drunk, and Stupid is no Way to Balance a Budget, Son

Which would you say is one of the primary reasons that states and municipalities are facing a looming fiscal crisis?

A)   Unfunded pension liabilities.
B)   Public union health care costs.
C)   Lower revenues as a result of the recession.
D)   Your fat kids.

If you chose “D” there just might be a place for you with the First Lady, who this week implored local leaders to make sure they don’t let a little thing like impending bankruptcy deter them from addressing this issue:

“You all know better than anyone that childhood obesity is already affecting your communities. It’s already weighing down your budgets. It’s already hampering economic growth.”

“So make no mistake about it: When we talk about childhood obesity, we’re talking about the workforce that you’re trying to build. We’re talking about businesses that you’re trying to attract. We’re talking about the budgets that you’re trying to balance each and every day.”

As the old saying goes, if all you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail, only in this case, if all you have is a vegetable garden, every problem looks like a salad.

So, where is Michelle Obama suggesting localities allocate scarce funds in lieu of essential public services?

Pedometers.

Hey, that fire can wait another ten minutes.  We’ve got kids we need to get walking:

“Mayor Robert Cluck in Arlington, Texas, for example, there they provided pedometers to every student in their school district; last summer they did this.  And they challenged these kids to walk as much as they could during their school vacation.  So 4,500 students signed up, and the winner of the challenge logged 6.8 million steps in just three months, and that’s something.  (Applause.)  That’s something.”

That is something. Know what else is something?  Re-upping your bowling league dues at the same time your wife is selling her car to save money.  That would also be something.

No matter, Ms. Obama wants municipalities to continue to champion her personal pet projects, such as building sidewalks so people can walk more, and building grocery stores closer to lower-income communities so people can walk less.

It makes more sense when you surround it with colorful graphics.

Anyway, you should support the First Lady’s program.  As she says:

“This is not a Republican issue, it’s not a Democratic issue, it is about our children.”

And you don’t hate children, do you?

J.

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March 18, 2011 at 04:12 PM in Current Affairs, Health & Fitness | Permalink

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Comments

I don't know if they have math teachers in Arlington TX, but based on my quick calculations, the kid who logged 6.8 million steps in 3 months would have to have walked 29 miles per day, every day (assuming 2' per step). In summer Texas heat. If it's true, the kid probably weighs about 20 pounds now.

Posted by: Mike | Mar 21, 2011 3:02:58 PM

Come on, Mike. We can't let logic and fourth grade math interfere with the FL's crusade to save the children.

Posted by: barryjo | Mar 24, 2011 7:26:02 PM

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