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September 30, 2011

What Would Suze Orman Say?

One of the problems with relying on private capital markets to fund promising new businesses, is that people using their own money tend to arrive at decisions different from people using someone else’s money.

This is highly undesirable, as it is a sad fact of life that the private sector routinely refuses to invest money in companies no one wants to invest in which plan to make things no one wants to buy.  Their excuse? They’ll lose all their money.

It’s always me me me with these people.

That’s not the America I grew up in.  Okay, maybe it is, but it’s not the America my two-year-old grew up in, the America that stands ready to lend a hand to those companies that, through no fault of their own, have completely unsustainable business plans.

Part of the problem is that private investors use different criteria in deciding whether or not to make an investment, including selfish, greedy requirements such as, “Can they make a profit?” and “Will I ever get my money back?”

In contrast, government investment experts look at more important criteria, such as, “Did the owners contribute to Democratic members of Congress?” and, “Did they also contribute to President Obama’s presidential campaign?” These are public interest issues that private investors willfully turn a blind eye too, demonstrating their total disregard for the responsibility they share in helping out the least fortunate Democratic candidates among us.

And then there are jobs.  Sure, private companies can create jobs, such as JWF Industries which is in the process of hiring 100 people to help service the equipment needs of the natural gas industry drilling in the vast Marcellus shale region of Pennsylvania, but the funds required to create those jobs are modest at best, and not a single one of these new jobs are being created in China.

It’s much better if the government provides $737 million in loans to a company with family connections to former Democratic House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. It might only create 45 jobs (46 if you count Nancy Pelosi’s brother-in-law) but these are quality jobs, which you can tell since they’re going to cost $16 million each.

It’s really up to you. You can rely on the false hope that private investment in industries producing desirable products produces jobs, or you can do the right thing and rely on government experts to invest your money in companies with business plans based on selling a product for $3 that costs $6 to make.

Don't worry, they'll make it up on volume.

J.

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September 30, 2011 at 10:24 AM in Current Affairs | Permalink

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Comments

May I be the first to appoint you as the King of Snark. (per definition 2 of the Urban Dictionary.)
Carry on, sir, carry on.

Posted by: barryjo | Oct 4, 2011 10:16:15 PM

I'm going to take that as a compliment regardless of how it was intended. ;)

Posted by: Planet Moron | Oct 5, 2011 12:38:08 PM

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