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December 22, 2011

When You Think About it, Santa Claus is Part of The 1%...

During the holiday season your thoughts naturally turn to the true meaning of Christmas. Sure, we decorate our houses, exchange gifts, and prepare lavish meals, but at some point we reflect on the true reason we celebrate this time of year:

The birth of our lord and president, Barack Obama.

And hence he has sent forth upon this earth his disciples to spread the word:

Sure, you’ll come upon some resistance from those family members who hold different political positions, so you’ll want to be respectful, to demonstrate that you value their beliefs, understanding that they are born of a lifetime of thoughtful reflection and deliberation, just like the guy in the video who said:

“My dad’s a character, he’s stubborn and stuck in his ways.”

It kind of brings a tear to your eye.

But don’t forget, if your dad disagrees that the federal government should have ever greater control over our lives, he’s just being a “character,” and “stubborn and stuck in his ways,” what with his beliefs in individual responsibility and personal liberty.

Wacky old man!

Speaking of which, it’s best to focus on the old ones first. It’s cold out this time of year, and they really have nowhere else to go. 

And it’s so easy to gently work your political viewpoints into normal conversation in subtle, subliminal ways. For example:

You: Aunt Sarah, you’ve done a wonderful job with the decorations this year.
Aunt Sarah: Why thank you, I thought I would…
You: Did you know that the stimulus package worked and we can create jobs by taxing the rich more?
Aunt Sarah: I’m sorry, what dear?
You: And the punch is delicious!

So remember, why let an opportunity to badger unsuspecting relatives who only want to spend special time with loved ones pass by?  You have a responsibility to spread the word!

Hark The Obama supporters sing,
Glory to the newborn king.
He’ll put gas in your car.
8% jobless is the bar,
Oceans’ rise are clearly slowing,
Deficits are really growing,
Let us rise up and proclaim,
We can lay on Bush the blame,
Hark, the Obama supporters sing,
Let’s soak the rich, yes, ka-ching!

And for you Republicans out there who feel left out, don’t worry, you can cravenly politicize the season too!  Just decorate your presents with these handy Mitt Romney for President tags!

Merry Christmas and season’s greetings to all of you out there in Planet Moron land!

J.

December 22, 2011 at 07:56 AM in Current Affairs | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBack