January 30, 2012
2012 Washington DC Auto Show
We take a break from our day-job-imposed semi hiatus for our annual report from the Washington DC Auto Show.
As we have reported for several years now, the organizers of The Washington Auto Show have been attempting to lend the event more of a Washington flavor, the better to reflect the unique culture of our nation’s capital. In furtherance of this goal, they decided to reorganize the way you enter the hall. In prior years, when you entered the Washington Convention Center from the Mt. Vernon Square Metro, you simply hung an immediate right. This year patrons are directed to go straight down a long hallway and then turn right.
And then turn right again.
And then turn right again. Careful readers with a natural affinity for spatial relations (and a high resistance to nodding off into boredom-induced comas) will note that you end up in the exact same place, just in a more complicated and circuitous route to no obvious purpose.
Welcome to Washington! Our customs may appear strange at first, but it's just our way.
We did note that along this new route a bag-screening room had been set up, as apparently organizers got wind from Pakistani intelligence that there was a plot brewing to disrupt our nation’s attempt to wean itself off imported oil, perhaps by blowing up a Honda Fit EV.
We did not have a great deal of time to spend at the auto show this year, partly because of the half mile we had to walk just to purchase tickets, but here are some of the things we saw.
Ford is in the process of trying to revive the Lincoln brand and restore it to its former glory when every red-blooded American dreamed of one day being rich enough to park his vehicle in the living room.
Likewise, Chrysler is turning to the storied “Dodge Dart” moniker in an attempt to combine the muscle car heritage of Mopar with the design acumen of Kia.
If you’re a Fiat marketing rep trying to convince Americans that the 500 isn’t a ridiculously tiny toy-like car unfit for American highways, you know what probably isn’t a good idea? Providing interested customers the chance to drive a Fiat 500 in what for all the world looks like a carnival bumper car ride.
“Weeeee!! Look, mommy, it’s just like driving a real car!”
Car makers love to show off “concept cars” at auto shows, not that they’ll ever get built, but to serve as “engineering platforms” to develop technologies that will one day make it into production vehicles. Take this futuristic entry from Ford for example.
We’re pretty sure that that innovative wax job might just make it onto a Ford Focus some day.
The Washington Auto Show is, as always, a good time, and runs through this coming weekend. Just be sure to bring your running shoes and maybe do a little cross training ahead of time if you're planning on entering from the Mt. Vernon Square Metro side.
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No car babes! Let's face it, a car is a one-time expense with some maintenance but a hot car babe is continuous high expenses with high maintenance and...eh, ok better to just stick with the cars. That's a lesson for Baby Moron.
Posted by: TheOldMan | Feb 15, 2012 1:24:11 PM