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August 31, 2012

Night 3 of the GOP Convention: He’s Baaa-aaack

Last night, the Romney campaign debuted the revamped model we’ve all been waiting for: The RomneyBot 2012C, the very latest in candidate automatons.

Those familiar with the original RomneyBot 2002M, specifically programmed to run for governor of the state of Massachusetts, would barely recognize this latest version.  Much of the original software, what with its outdated pro-choice files and subroutines that supported gay rights and global warming initiatives, have been replaced with pro-choice and traditional marriage programs that better appeal to the GOP target market it is now designed for.

Overall, the RomneyBot 2012C performed well last night, showing off its many improvements including a smile that designers proudly described as “at least 20% less painful.” Observers noted with awed wonder how “lifelike” it appeared, and really showed how far the overall technology has come since the original GoreBot 2000, which, with its stilted movements and exaggerated gestures, appears so primitive now to our modern sensibilities.

Clearly, the RomneyBot 2012C is an excellent product, convincingly reproducing many realistic-sounding noises, such as, “As president, I'll respect the sanctity of life.  I'll 
honor the institution of marriage,” and “We
 must rein in the skyrocketing cost of health care by repealing and 
replacing Obamacare.”

It’s almost like there’s a person inside there.

However, many fans of the RomneyBot 2012C are concerned about what changes might be in store with the next upgrade, known in the trades as “the RomneyBot 2013.” Will the pro-life apps be compatible?  Will it cost more than we're expecting? Will it still fit snugly in the party platform designed for the current model?

And will it have a removable flash drive and a battery that can be replaced by the user?

Wait, we might be thinking of the iPhone.

 Regardless, Many Americans may be willing to give a robot a try.

It’s not like the humans have done such a great job.


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August 31, 2012 at 04:51 PM in Current Affairs | Permalink


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It's bright and shiny and it works well enough, but I liked the retro thing; the 8-bit Atari Clint that you couldn't tell if it would work or not.

Posted by: Michael | Aug 31, 2012 9:39:11 PM

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