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September 13, 2012

Frequently Asked Questions: Murders in Libya

Like most Planet Moron readers, you probably kept switching channels yesterday evening trying desperately to keep up with all the latest developments.

Why they would show the X-Factor and The Voice at the same time we’ll never know.

As a result, you may not be fully up to speed regarding the crises in Libya after a U.S. diplomat and three other Americans were killed during riots over an American-made film that depicted the Prophet Mohammed in a less-than-reverent light. Or, really in any light when you think about it.

Hopefully, this handy FAQ we prepared will help bring you up to speed:

Q: What are these riots all about?
A: Muslims protesting an anti-Islam film released by American filmmaker “Bacille” and purportedly promoted by Pastor Terry Jones, killed several Americans including a U.S. diplomat in Libya.

Q: I assume we have condemned the murderers and will seek justice against them.
A: Absolutely, we’ll get that filmmaker and Terry Jones and make them pay.

Q: Well, good, because you can’t let something like that… Wait, what did you say?
A: As MSNBC’s Mike Barnicle and Donny Deutsch said, we need to prosecute them as accessories to murder.

Q: Weren’t these people just exercising their inalienable right to free speech?
A: Not according to Anthea Butler, an associate professor of religious studies at the prestigious University of Pennsylvania who believes the filmmaker should be in jail because:

“Bacille’s film is not about expressing a personal opinion about Islam. It denigrates the religion by depicting the faith's founder in several ludicrous and historically inaccurate scenes to incite and inflame viewers.”

Q: Wait, plenty of people have denigrated other religions including Christianity under the protection of the first amendment. What’s the difference this time?
A: As Professor Butler patiently explains:

“The difference is that Bacile indirectly and inadvertently inflamed people half a world away, resulting in the deaths at a U.S. embassy.”

Q: So we have the right to exercise our inalienable right to free speech as long as we don’t think someone on the other side of the world might possibly be offended?
A: Again, we’ll leave it to the good professor:

“While the First Amendment right to free expression is important, it is also important to remember that other countries and cultures do not have to understand or respect our right.”

And therefore, neither do we! Get it, now?

Q: Not really, but at least it’s just some professor no one ever heard of leaning on these guys.
A: Well, the embassy in Cairo also apologized for us:

“We firmly reject the actions by those who abuse the universal right of free speech to hurt the religious beliefs of others.”

Q: Didn’t the Obama administration distance itself from that statement and condemn the terrorists?
A: Yes.

Q: Good.
A: Eight hours after they were done condemning Mitt Romney for defending free speech.

Q: Well, we feel a little better about that. Maybe.
A: And then they had General Martin Dempsey, the chairman of the U.S. military's Joint Chiefs of Staff, give Terry Jones a phone call and ask him to stop exercising his inalienable right to free speech because it could inflame tensions which could cause trouble for our troops, particularly in Afghanistan.

Q: A four-star general in the United States Military is pressuring a private citizen to stop exercising his inalienable right to free speech?
A: Sure, it happens all the time. Besides, the last thing we want to do is put our troops in a position of defending our inalienable first-amendment rights.

Q: What else should they be doing that's more important?
A: Defending the rights of Afghanistan President Hamid Karzai to condemn our inalienable first-amendment rights.

Q: Okay, fine, fine, so what’s the big lesson we should learn from this?  Our foreign policy is in trouble? We were unprepared to properly secure our embassies in a volatile region?  Our commitment to free speech is under fire?
A: No, the big lesson is that Mitt Romney is campaigning for President.

Q: This is ridiculous!
A: Shhhh!  Someone might be listening.

J.

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September 13, 2012 at 03:12 PM in Current Affairs | Permalink

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Comments

Can't wait to see what strong steps the President will take. I know he is just waiting for his focus groups, polls, advisors and the MSM to come up with a coherent, presidential-type plan.

Posted by: barryjo | Sep 14, 2012 8:51:04 AM

If it involves ICBMs, then I'll pay attention...

Posted by: TheOldMan | Sep 14, 2012 4:30:19 PM

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