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September 20, 2013

First, You Have to Admit You Have a Problem

Ben Bernanke’s remarks this week regarding his surprise continuation of unprecedented monetary stimulus as reinterpreted through The Top 10 Excuses Made By Addicts & Alcoholics:

Look, I know I said I would taper, and I totally meant that. Really, I did. But I just need a little bit more time is all. No reason to get all excited, okay? It’s not like I'm hurting anybody but myself.

The economy just needs a bit of relief from all the talk about tapering. That I started.  You know, just a little something something to get through this.

And believe me, if you had this economy’s problem, you’d still be stimulating too.

This is just who I am. You knew that when you made me Fed Chairman. And I’ve got to be me, baby!

Besides, I need this monetary stimulus. It helps me relax and be a better conversationalist.  All that talk about tapering I did just made things awkward in the mortgage markets.

Regardless, I can’t do my job without this stimulus. I just can’t.  You ever try following a dual mandate without a little monetary stimulus to keep you going?  Yeah, I thought so.

Don’t look at me like that. I can stop stimulating anytime I want to.  I just don’t want to. Not right now. Maybe later. Yeah, I’ll do it later.

Hey, at least I’m not stimulating like Haruhiko Kuroda. Have you seen that guy?  He’s a maniac!  Makes me look like Paul Volker.

Anyway, everyone’s stimulating today. It’s not like I’m the only one. Just look around. I’m the normal one.

It’s pointless anyway. I’m out of here no matter what, so I might as well go out on my terms!

These thing usually end well.


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September 20, 2013 at 04:56 PM in Current Affairs | Permalink


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Inflation is the biggest tax ever invented.

Posted by: TheOldMan | Sep 23, 2013 12:43:37 PM

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