April 22, 2014
Addressing First World Problems Since 1970
Do you know what today is?
If you are like most Planet Moron readers, you’re probably thinking, “Tuesday, why? Did I miss a parole hearing? That’s not until Thursday.”
Also, “Wait, it’s Earth Day, isn’t it?”
Exactly. And to better help readers reacquaint themselves with this decades-long tradition, we’ve prepared a little Q&A:
Q: What is Earth Day all about?
A: Its primary purpose is to raise awareness about environmental concerns that threaten our well being.
Q: You mean, the one-third of the world’s population that cooks and keeps warm burning twigs and dung, 4.3 million of which died in 2012 from the deadly fumes and resultant air pollution?
A: What? No. Threatens us. Not someone else.
Q: What threatens us?
A: Way too many lights on at night.
Q: That’s a threat?
A: Absolutely. It’s called light pollution. That is why we should all pitch in to help and keep lights off at night for the next week.
Q: You know who’s a big proponent of keeping the lights off at night?
A: Al Gore?
Q: Close. Kim Jong Un.
A: An Earth Day champion if there ever was one!
Q: Now, what about those millions of people dying every year from air pollution?
A: Hey, they can pitch in too. They can put out their smoldering piles of twigs and dung at night.
Q: Won’t they go cold and hungry?
A: Sure, but think of the brilliant night sky view they'll have!
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Hah. You almost tricked me into checking here regularly again.
Posted by: Michael | May 6, 2014 10:53:25 AM
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