Planet Moron

CONSENSUS WATCH - 10/22/2009

 An ongoing series dedicated to vigorously monitoring emerging threats to The Consensus that global warming is real, caused by humans, and must be addressed at all costs. Because without consensus, scientific conclusions would remain vulnerable to new data.

 The Consensus has come under attack from an unlikely source, the BBC, which noted that despite ever-increasing concentrations of CO2 and predictions to the contrary, the earth has been cooling over the past decade.

Fortunately these blatant appeals to logic rarely work.  Yes, people might momentarily get caught up in the facts of the moment, allowing reason to overwhelm their emotions, but when all is said and done, true adherents to The Consensus can take comfort in knowing that once everyone has had a chance to stand up and get excited, less sober minds will ultimately prevail.

For example, here is a piece of thoughtful research released by ACT ON CO2 (a creation of the UK government) that explores the very real consequences of telling a little girl that everyone is going to die.

This study makes a number of compelling points. For example, CO2, rather than being an abundant natural gas upon which all life on earth depends, is in fact a menacing demon stretching across the sky and spewing forth flying ghost blobs.

We did not know that.

The video also makes clear that based on current climate modeling, unless we take action to reduce CO2 emissions now, your daughter’s puppy will drown. 

Consensus deniers might insist this is an exaggeration, or possibly even a complete fabrication, but it’s difficult to dismiss what you are seeing with your own two eyes, irrefutable evidence as portrayed in a whimsical imaginary drawing.

What can we learn from this?

Global warming makes bunnies cry.

Also, despite what you might have heard on the news, or read in a peer-reviewed article, or saw at a screening or experienced personally by walking outside, it is clear that without drastic action, we are facing a bleak future in which little girls’ puppies are drowned.

And we can’t have that.

We might want to use those pups for food.

J.

CONSENSUS WATCH MERCHANDISE: In addition to the “my parents fought global warming and all I got was this lousy sweatshirt” item we mentioned the other day, we’ve updated most of the Consensus Watch store adding T-shirts, thermoses and other items and improving some of the graphics.  Why? Because we care.  Also, the liquor store was closed.  Okay, mostly because the liquor store was closed.

But we sure cared about that.

UPDATE: A slightly different take from The London Fog (language warning at end):

 

Well, At Least They Can Claim That The Climate Is Changing…

Mid-October snowfall in Pa. sets record

Tampa sets record low temperature

Morning low ties 61-year-old record

Few Octobers have been colder so far

Cold Records Smashed in Denver

Just in time for melting polar ice caps that refuse to melt and rising sea levels that refuse to rise, Planet Moron together with Consensus Watch presents our official Global Warming Sweatshirt:

My parents fought Global Warming

And all I got was this lousy Sweatshirt!

J.

Welcome Daily Crux readers!

Great Moments in Climate Journalism

Brought to you by Girma Orssengo, MASc, PhD via Climate Realists:

The New York Times, Feb 24, 1895:

 

The New York Times, May 15, 1932:

 

Newsweek, April 28,1975:

 

The Washington Post, December 25, 2008:

Al Gore Lied, October 11, 2009:

 And so to those tireless members of the fourth estate, whose indefatigable efforts to ferret out the latest fad and willingness to challenge all those who would dare contest it, we salute you!

J.

CONSENSUS WATCH - 9/16/2009

An ongoing series dedicated to vigorously monitoring emerging threats to The Consensus that global warming is real, caused by humans, and must be addressed at all costs. Because without consensus, scientific conclusions would remain vulnerable to new data.

With new evidence raising questions about Consensus models, noted experts in the field questioning the foundations of The Consensus, and observed temperature data emerging that is contrary to Consensus assumptions, those of us who support The Consensus are being challenged like never before to make the case for anthropogenic global warming. 

Presumably we could revisit climate models, construct and test new hypotheses, or question basic assumptions the better to understand and validate our theories, but that sounds like it involves a lot of math. Besides, with the Copenhagen Conference just a few months away, this is no time for intellectual rigor.  The better solution?

We can sing!

And so noted climatologists such as Duran Duran and the Scorpions, together with Bob Geldof (who it should be noted has a PhD in “cool”), have gathered together to record a song to help draw attention to The Consensus.  So committed are the assembled artists to this project, they even expended the time and creative energy it takes to flip through the back catalogue of ‘80s band Midnight Oil, and choose a song that had already been written.

Of course, there is a long history of recording artists banding together to revive flagging careers/save the world.  Who can forget Bob Geldof’s earlier effort with his Live 8 concert?  Aside from members of his immediate family, we mean.   That global mega-event was nothing short of instrumental in raising awareness and bringing attention to the neglected subject of AIDS. Or poverty.  Or hunger or something.  Saving the children was almost certainly involved, we're sure.

But that’s not what’s important. What is important is that by reviving Midnight Oil’s “Beds are Burning,” the scientific debate over global warming has been elevated to a new level.

For instance, you could point out that data collected by The IARC-JAXA Information System clearly demonstrates that contrary to dire predictions of a complete melt, Arctic sea ice concentrations are now rising as they normally do.  But that leaves unanswered the one question no one but these musician-scientists have the courage to ask:

How can we dance when our earth is turning?
How do we sleep when our beds are burning?

How do we, indeed.

And sure, you could prattle on about how not only is the atmosphere cooling, but the oceans are too based on data collected from the 3000 buoys of the Argo network, but you need to place that in the appropriate context that:

Out where the river broke
The bloodwood and the desert oak
Holden wrecks and boiling diesels
Steam in forty five degrees

You can keep your meticulously recorded data, and sound statistical analysis, we’ll take clever rhymes and a memorable bass line any day.

Coincidentally, Midnight Oil’s former front man, Peter Garrett, is also now the Australian Minister for the Environment, where he has already demonstrated that he has the commitment to say what needs to be said, no matter whether he’s opposed by utility companies, fossil fuel lobbyists, or actual factual data.

J.

Don't forget our Consensus Watch gear, perfect for those house guests you don't want lingering around much past breakfast. We have an extensive line of "Stop raping the planet! You may, however, touch it inappropriately," items (coffee cup, bags, coasters, stickers, buttons), and the classic Consensus Watch coffee mug and beer stein: "Consensus Watch Because without consensus, scientific conclusions would remain vulnerable to new data."

CONSENSUS WATCH - 7/9/2009

An ongoing series dedicated to vigorously monitoring emerging threats to The Consensus that global warming is real, caused by humans, and must be addressed at all costs. Because without consensus, scientific conclusions would remain vulnerable to new data. And Blitzkrieg.

Al Gore came in for some criticism this week when he suggested there was a relation between those who are skeptical of The Consensus on global warming and the Nazis of World War II.

What these critics fail to understand is that there are a number of startling similarities between global warming skeptics and the Nazis:

The Nazis were German.

The name "Richard Lindzen” sounds German.

Nazi Germany occupied France, bypassing the Maginot Line.

Global warming skeptics occupied the 6th Floor “Broadway Ballroom” of the New York Marriot Marquis Hotel bypassing the concierge desk.

The Nazis had to live through bouts of cold weather.

So have skeptics!

The Nazis blamed everything on the Jews.

Global Warming skeptics blame everything on the sun.

The Nazis invaded Denmark.

Bjørn Lomborg is from Denmark.

Hitler ended his life with a gunshot to the head.

Global warming skeptics end their careers with a byline to their articles.

The Nazis used brutal force and violence to push their agenda.

Global warming skeptics use brutal logic and data to push theirs.

Talk about your freaky parallels.

Hey, it’s not like they give those Nobel Peace Prizes out to just anyone.

In other Consensus news, Senator Barbara Boxer plans to delay Senate consideration of global warming legislation until September.

(Most recent photograph available of Senator Barbara Boxer.)

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J.

Don't forget, Consensus Watch gear will make sure no one confuses you with a Nazi sympathizer! We have an extensive line of "Stop raping the planet! You may, however, touch it inappropriately," gear (coffee cup, bags, coasters, stickers, buttons), and the classic Consensus Watch coffee mug: "Consensus Watch Because without consensus, scientific conclusions would remain vulnerable to new data."

CONSENSUS WATCH - 6/27/2009

An ongoing series dedicated to vigorously monitoring emerging threats to The Consensus that global warming is real, caused by humans, and must be addressed at all costs. Because without consensus, scientific conclusions would remain vulnerable to new data.

Last night, the House passed the American Clean Energy Security (ACES) Act, a sweeping piece of climate legislation that will result in dramatically rising costs, increased joblessness, and a massive expansion of government control over our daily lives.

However, that’s the price we’re just going to have to pay if we want to get serious about global warming and believe that it is our moral obligation to reduce temperatures nine hundredths of one degree Fahrenheit.

That's two years worth of warming!

Think of it.  Because of this bill, our children, and their children’s children, will be enjoying the cool sweet temperatures of 2048 even when it’s actually 2050!

It’s almost like they built a fantastical time machine.  Or, as Congressman G.K. Butterfield put it, the ACES act:

“…literally will save the planet.”

Given its importance, you probably feel badly that you didn’t take the time to carefully read the ACES act.

That’s okay.  No one did. 

Also, it technically doesn’t exist.

But there’s a reason for that.  Did you ever read the ingredient label on pasteurized processed cheese product?

And did you still eat it?

That is why such things really are best left to the experts.  Well, not all the experts.  Some experts disagree with The Consensus, which makes no sense at all since there wouldn’t be a consensus if everyone didn’t agree.

That is why such disagreement must be carefully suppressed.

In fact, Speaker Nancy Pelosi said that in order to pass the legislation, representatives had to bear up under overwhelming opposition from "entrenched agents of the status quo," also known as "the constituents they represent" who rather like the entrenched status quo of having a job.

Don't these people know Al Gore won a Tony.  Or something.

What can you do to help ensure that The Consensus remains unchallenged? 

The next time someone mentions that they seem to recall reading somewhere that there is widespread and growing dissent among credible scientists regarding The Consensus and they are thinking of maybe looking into the matter with their congressman, take them aside and point out that there is overwhelming evidence that Michael Jackson just died. Madonna can’t stop crying! Justin Timberlake blogged about it! You can listen to the 911 call!

With any luck an attractive upper-class white woman will go missing when the Senate takes it up.

J.

Don't forget, Consensus Watch gear will make you a pariah among your peers faster than a Sanford/Palin 2012 bumper sticker on a Hummer! We have an extensive line of "Stop raping the planet! You may, however, touch it inappropriately," gear (coffee cup, bags, coasters, stickers, buttons), and the classic Consensus Watch coffee mug: "Consensus Watch Because without consensus, scientific conclusions would remain vulnerable to new data."

CONSENSUS WATCH – Earth Day 2009

An ongoing series dedicated to vigorously monitoring emerging threats to The Consensus that global warming is real, caused by humans, and must be addressed immediately. Because without consensus, viable theories could emerge challenging the reigning orthodoxy resulting in chaos, confusion and unrest.

The Consensus has been facing rising levels of doubt over the past year with the percentage of Americans believing that humans are the cause of global warming dropping from 47% to 34%.

Where might this lead us? Using the same slavish devotion to detail and advanced scientific modeling techniques employed by the United Nation’s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, global warming researchers have prepared this disturbing forecast:

“The GORE LIED computer model below shows  that at the current rate of loss of belief in man-made global warming, that such belief will be virtually non-existent by 2020. Also, evidence of a positive feedback trend has caused many experts to believe that the actual rate of loss of belief in man-made global warming is happening even faster than this model is predicting, and that the world may be completely free of belief in man-made global warming by as early as 2015.”

The implications are serious as this will likely result in dramatically rising levels of complacency that could easily swamp our largest coastal-based global warming fundraising efforts.  The fragility of this ecosystem cannot be overstated as environmental groups’ very existence depends on ready access to fresh sources of hysteria.

And if this happens, we all know where the worst suffering will be.

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That’s right, polar bear merchandising:

Without growing panic over the effects global climate change could have on polar bears, efforts to raise funds through the sale of adorable plush toys and framed pictures will be threatened with almost certain extinction.

What can be done?

One promising innovation is “Knowledge Capture” in which knowledge that is clearly harmful to The Consensus is buried deep under many layers of Consensus-supporting PowerPoint presentations, the better to ensure that it is never allowed to seep out into the atmosphere where in growing concentrations it could contaminate prevailing wisdoms and upset the delicate natural balances of alarm and anxiety.

We can do this. We can turn the tide on increasing levels of doubt and return the planet to those happier days when children lived in abject fear of climate catastrophe.  While it won’t be easy, we need to remember this:

“The only thing we have to fear, is the lack of fear itself.”

J.

CONSENSUS WATCH - 4/20/2009

An ongoing series dedicated to vigorously monitoring emerging threats to The Consensus that global warming is real, caused by humans, and must be addressed immediately. Because without consensus, viable theories could emerge challenging the reigning orthodoxy resulting in chaos, confusion and unrest.

A new promotional campaign, “Carbon Caps = Hard Hats,” began blanketing the airwaves and print media this past weekend, headlined by the colorful mayor of Braddock, Pennsylvania, John Fetterman.

As the mayor explains, the economics are “simple.”  All you have to do to create lots of high-paying jobs is to have the government mandate that cheap, efficient forms of energy be made as expensive to produce as far more costly, inefficient forms of energy.

“Take the wind turbine,” Fetterman point out. “A typical wind turbine has 8,000 parts and is made of 250 tons of steel. Somebody’s got to make that steel, fabricate those parts, assemble those parts, deliver the assembled turbine to a wind farm, erect the turbine and manage the wind farm. That’s a lot of jobs.”

Even more so when you take into account that wind turbines barely produce a quarter the amount of energy they’re rated for.  Why, that’s four times as many jobs that would be created than with efficient forms of energy!

However, Fetterman warns that “A Carbon Cap is not popular with everybody. The usual suspects, like some in Big Oil, will drag out the same old tired scare tactics,” such as the same old tired scare tactic of performing a detailed economic study and finding that in Spain’s experience with similar green initiatives, for every single “green” job created, 2.2 jobs are destroyed elsewhere in the economy.  But that study does not take into account other factors, such as the really cool, high-resolution black & white photos the carbon cap folks have on their web site.

You can take your so-called “observational data” and “verifiable hypotheses.” We’ll take gritty monochromatic post-modern realism meant to evoke an emotional response over that any day.

Still not convinced?  Well, it’s not just about jobs.  The principle sponsor of Carbon Caps = Hard Hats, the Environmental Defense Fund, believes carbon caps are essential if we are to reduce emissions of one of the most deadly, and also naturally abundant, gases known to man: Carbon dioxide. 

While green initiatives such as inefficient wind turbines may not actually reduce carbon dioxide emissions and might even increase them, that misses one of the most important arguments the Carbon Caps = Hard Hats campaign is trying to make: John Fetterman, is  really colorful! He went to Harvard.  He has tattoos! Sometimes he spells “Bradock,” “Bradocc.”  Is that awesome or what?

So, let’s review the arguments for and against carbon caps:

Against:

1) Encourages expensive and inefficient forms of energy production.
2) Is a net destroyer of jobs.
3) Doesn’t actually cap carbon.

For:

1) Gritty high-contrast black & white photography.
2) Tattoos
3) More overall awesomeness.

Chalk another one up for The Consensus.

J.

Don't forget, Consensus Watch gear makes for an excellent conversation starter.  Also stopper. Okay, mostly stopper. Choose from our line of "Stop raping the planet! You may, however, touch it inappropriately," gear (coffee cup, bags, coasters, stickers, buttons), or the classic Consensus Watch coffee mug: "Consensus Watch Because without consensus, scientific conclusions would remain vulnerable to new data."

CONSENSUS WATCH - 4/9/2009

An ongoing series dedicated to vigorously monitoring emerging threats to The Consensus that global warming is real, caused by humans, and must be addressed immediately. Because without consensus, scientific conclusions would remain vulnerable to new data.

Now that the Bush administration is out of office, we can finally stop worrying that the politicization of science will result in partisan policy imperatives driving decisions on combating global warming.  From now on, such issues will be dealt with based only on verifiable, clear-headed science.

Such as serious discussions of shooting pollution particles into the upper atmosphere to reflect the sun’s rays and creating artificial carbon dioxide-eating trees!

“It’s got to be looked at,” President Obama’s new science advisor, John Holdren, warned.  "We don't have the luxury of taking any approach off the table."

Before you question Holdren’s credentials, we should point out that he has had a long and distinguished career, spending his early years being wrong about things and then going on to do important work in the fields of depopulating the earth of excess human beings and de-developing industrialized nations to help those less developed (since it is well understood that impoverished people value empathy over the far more pedestrian needs of food and shelter).

Of course, he’s explored more conventional avenues of scientific inquiry too, such as forced sterilizations, not to mention his groundbreaking work in discovering that “people are the bane of a rational energy policy."

As Holdren himself pointed out in a recent interview, by appointing him, President Obama “has put real scientists in positions of real influence.”

(What makes a person a “real” scientist?  A real scientist dismisses any criticism of his work as “dangerous.” How else can you tell if his science is sound?)

“The scientists are at the table,” Holdren continues. “We have access to the president. We have access to the national security adviser. We have access to the Treasury.”

What might we expect in the future from a Malthusian with a God complex that has access to the President, National Security Adviser, and the Treasury?

Onion Clip: H/T Ace of Spades

J.

Epilogue: Moron Hour

We would like to thank Al Gore for his unexpected participation in “Moron Hour” last night.  While he didn’t have every light turned on, he did leave the outside floods burning to illuminate his landscaping which is at least good for some extra credit if only for the effort.

Which brings us to our first, and what will surely be our last, incarnation of,

Bad Al Gore Jokes for a Sunday Evening:

Why did Al Gore cross the road?
He was trying to get away from Bjorn Lomborg.


How many Al Gores does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two.  One to screw in the light bulb, and one to preach against the evils of screwing in light bulbs.


Why is Al Gore eligible for TARP funds?
He’s too big to fail.


The Easter Bunny, Al Gore, and Nancy Pelosi are all lost at sea on a raft. Who survives? 
Nancy Pelosi, because everyone knows the Easter Bunny and Global Warming don’t exist.


Knock knock .
Who’s there?
Al Gore.
Get the hell off my property.

We’ll stop now.

J.