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August 08, 2005

good news, more bombings

Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice said last week in an interview that she felt the insurgency in Iraq was “losing steam” noting that you can’t just look at the rising death toll as a sign of success or failure.

In the wide-ranging discussion, the Secretary touched on a number of other subjects as well.

“I believe it is clear to anyone who takes a careful look, that the Chicago White Sox are on their last legs,” noted the long-time baseball fan. “Winning seven of their last ten games would be troubling enough to a White Sox fan, but when you look at their pitching staff including Jon Garland who leads the American League with 16 wins, you can tell they’re really struggling.”

Turning to oil prices, Secretary Rice pointed out the relentless surge in the cost of a barrel of oil this year as evidence that OPEC is truly desperate. “These record highs we've seen week after week,  well that's just a cry for help,” noted the optimistic Secretary. “Americans can feel comfortable at the pump that each nickel increase in the price of a gallon of gas is just one more small victory over the oil-producing nations of the Middle East.”

The discussion turned briefly to the Michael Jackson case. “I believe District Attorney Tom Sneddon has Jackson right where he wants him," she said, “Certainly you can view Jackson’s complete acquittal on all charges brought as a loss if you choose to, but I see it is as merely a stepping stone to ultimate victory.”

“It’s all just part of the plan,” she added.

The interview had to be cut short when Secretary Rice received a phone call. “That was my exterminator. Good news, the termites weren’t only in the basement but have spread throughout the first floor. We’ve really got them on the run now!”

J.

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August 8, 2005 at 11:36 AM in Current Affairs | Permalink

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On the lighter side, Planet Moron explains what the Iraqi insurgency, the Chicago White Sox, and Condoleezza Rice's termite problem have in common... [Read More]

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Comments

Listen, bub...you wanna have your sophomoric fun you can have it at Rummy or Cheney's expense. Maybe do a play-by-play of a Bolton-Annan smackdown. That De Villepin fruit can be the ring girl.

Just leave my sweet Condi alone!

Posted by: Michael | Aug 8, 2005 6:10:09 PM

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