all good things must come to an end. just not necessarily right now.

We’re running out of oil! How do we know? Because Washington Post automotive columnist Warren Brown says so. Five times.

In an article entitled, “News Flash: We’re Running Out of Oil” (okay, six times), Warren Brown employs the highly persuasive rhetorical technique of repeating himself over and over again so as to better convince the listener that his argument is of sound reasoning. (Either that or it’s Tourette’s.)

Mr. Brown does point out that “It probably will not disappear before many baby boomers and their immediate progeny run out of life.” (And maybe not even then.)

In related news, scientists rocked the solar power industry and caused a near riot at the offices of the Sierra Club when they revealed that we are “runing out of sun.” Probably not before many baby boomers and their progeny’s descendents become beings comprised of pure energy who colonize the galaxy using only the power of thought but still, something to keep in the back of your mind before you get too smug about installing those roof panels, Mr. I’m-Going-To-Live-Off-The-Grid.

Other things we are going to run out of eventually include dirt, wind, pop-up ads, CIA leaks and public interest in the Brangelina baby. In that order.

Fortunately, Warren Brown’s credentials to address the complex fields of resource depletion and petroleum extraction technology are impeccable as he has dedicated the last quarter century of his life to driving really cool cars and then telling everyone about it.

Unafraid of controversy, it was Warren Brown’s investigative zeal that “blew the lid off” the scandal involving the uncomfortable passenger seats in the Mazda CX-7. He was also the one who had the courage to point out what everyone else was thinking but were just too timid to say out loud: The Audis’ new “horse-collar grille” styling is just not all that attractive. There, it’s out now. Some things once said, can never be unsaid.

Applying these sharp journalistic instincts to geological reserve analysis and global economic forces is a natural fit and certainly lends gravity to Mr. Brown’s grave warnings of (eventual) calamity and (future) hardship.

In fact, we can only imagine how the world might have been a different place had we level-headed automotive journalists like Warren Brown around years ago to “tell it like it is…”

“We’re running out of hay! The farmers know it. President Buchanan knows it. The wagon makers know it. The growing popularity of large horse-drawn carriages is pushing our hay supplies to the limit. Two cents a bundle? Get used to it! The days of ‘easy hay’ are over.  We want a national energy policy that deals firmly, fairly, sensibly with the reality that hay is running out.…”

J.