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September 07, 2020

Be Sure To Wear Your PPE: Political Protective Equipment

As we approach the 170th day of our national 15-day “stop the spread” lock down initiative we thought it would be a good time to review the importance of these measures and understand that we are not out of the woods yet. This is no "mask hoax," it remains absolutely essential that we continue to do everything in our power to protect the most vulnerable among us:


That is why wearing a mask is so important. By wearing a mask you are helping to reduce the risk of spreading unpopular ideas and embarrassing revelations by at least 60%, even more so if your mask is one of those really distracting homemade ones with a bizarre or embarrassing design from some garment you pulled out of the bottom of a closet that kind of looks like Tweety Bird on acid.

Even a regular mask can effectively filter out enough syllables so as to render your colloquy on the proper balance of power between the state and individuals ineffective at spreading to others. That’s why it’s important to keep the mask over your nose as well and to seal it up on the sides the better to muffle your voice.

And it’s not enough for you to just wear your own mask, everyone around you must be forced to as well.

AdobeStock_356839993Sure, by wearing a mask you might be protecting others from your own disapproved-of viewpoints, but the only way you can protect yourself from the ideas and opinions of others is if they are forced to wear a mask as well. This is particularly important when you are in public where other people can hear you. Generally speaking, while you may take you mask off at home, you in fact do have to wear it on Zoom meetings and other conference calls as ideas can easily spread across the internet. Plus, by covering up your face you help to dehumanize yourself even more thus making facial cues and natural human empathy that much more difficult to propagate.

Speaking of which, by wearing our masks when and where we are commanded to, we honor our front-line tech workers who are struggling day in and day out to ensure that troublesome observations, distracting opinions, and problematic research are placed in quarantine where they can do no harm (particularly to profit margins).

By doing so, this helps ensure that we protect our elected leaders from unnecessary exposure to accountability to which they are particularly susceptible.

AdobeStock_221779120Know the warning signs! Common symptoms of accountability include flushing of the face, shortness of breath, flashes of anger, a sudden drop in the polls, and eventually a complete loss of control over the ability to tell people what to do.

Social distancing also remains a critical component of this as well. By reducing the ability of people to get together in any but the smallest of groups, we can, working together, make it extremely unlikely that they will be able to peaceably assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

AdobeStock_152982997Well, unless it helps to further sew panic and disruption. Then it’s perfectly okay.

AdobeStock_263743101So remember, we know it’s been a long time, but it will take just a little bit longer to ensure your obedience training is complete and our politicians will be safe to rule as they, in their infinite wisdom, see fit.


Tell the world how you really feel. While you still can!  Just click on the pics:



Mockup-featuring-a-happy-woman-with-a-pullover-hoodie-in-the-woods-32219 (1) Sticker-mockup-featuring-a-man-holding-a-coffee-mug-33617

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September 7, 2020 at 02:29 PM in Current Affairs | Permalink


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