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September 15, 2020

Consensus Watch - 9/15/2020

An ongoing series dedicated to vigorously monitoring emerging threats to The Consensus that global warming is real, caused by humans, and must be addressed at all costs. Because without consensus, scientific conclusions would remain vulnerable to new data.

AdobeStock_125738980The argument that the latest round of wildfires inundating  the United States is completely unprecedented and directly caused by global warming is complicated by the fact that they are not, and it is not.

Not to worry, this happens all the time. Since we already have a Consensus, this becomes less a tedious exercise in experimentation and data analysis, and more a matter of focusing on what’s really important in science:

Branding.

This is not new. It was discovered very early on that simply pointing out that, “boy, it’s been pretty hot this summer,” was not nearly catastrophic-sounding enough to be any help in securing tenure or being awarded lucrative research grants. No, if you were going to foment sustainable amounts of hysteria you were going to need something more powerful, something apocalyptic that would have enormous emotional appeal and help get six-figure book deals.

Originally, “Global Warming” fit the bill perfectly. It was an easy concept to understand. The globe was warming.  The entire globe!  Plus warming is a simple concept to understand. It’s still in use today in fact, as we used it just above.

Unfortunately, it ran into some trouble when the globe refused to, you know, warm.

This was the original branding challenge that The Consensus faced, but the solution was close at hand:

“Climate Change.”

With Climate Change, pretty much everything proves your point. Warming, cooling, floods, drought, as long as something changes, the theory withstands scrutiny.

Which brings us back to the wildfires.

People have been hearing about wildfires for a long time. You need to tie the wildfires directly to global warm… sorry, old habit. You need to tie the wildfires directly to climate change somehow.

Allow us to introduce you to the greatest thing since Sharknado:

Climate Fires.

It captures the imagination immediately. Climate fires! We’re causing the climate to change, the changed climate is causing fires, creating: Climate Fires!

But wait, there’s more. Your refusal to turn over control of your lives to the government makes you, wait for it:

AdobeStock_47320657A climate arsonist!

This is truly science at its best. Hyperbolic, terrifying, and vilifies your opponents.

This is a game changer people. The brand extensions are almost limitless.  We won’t have hurricanes anymore, we’ll have “ClimateCanes!” And if you insist on driving an SUV, you will be a "Climate Murderer."

Proof, as if more was needed, that there’s nothing you can’t accomplish...

With science!

J.

Support The Consensus by throwing money at us!

Unless, of course, you hate the environment. 

Click on the pics below for links to T-shirts, Mugs, posters, and all kinds of other crap you do not need.

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September 15, 2020 at 09:45 PM in Current Affairs, Global Warming with CONSENSUS WATCH | Permalink

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