October 15, 2020

The Truth Is Out There. Maybe That's Where We Should Leave It.

You know you’re living in strange times when legitimate evidence that UFOs exist isn’t the biggest story of the year.

Here are the facts as we know them: There are flying objects breaking the laws of physics as we understand them, zipping about our country including military facilities and we have absolutely no idea who or what they are.

Now let me be clear, I’m not saying these are aliens.

Guatemala just doesn’t have that kind of technology.

And I’m not saying these are extraterrestrials. We haven’t seen hard, irrefutable evidence of that yet.

What I am saying is, there are flying objects breaking the laws of physics as we understand them, zipping about our country including military facilities and we have absolutely no idea who or what they are!!

Are you okay with that? We’re not okay with that.

Are they from the future? From the past? Chinese? Russian? Interdimensional?

Is there a good choice?

There used to be one:

They didn’t exist.

We went with that for years, people were seeing things, they were crazy, and so on.

Good times.

But the government has been forced to be more forthcoming with information after some footage the Navy had was leaked to The New York Times:

The Navy eventually confirmed the leaked footage and had this to say about it:

“DOD [Department of Defense] is releasing the videos in order to clear up any misconceptions by the public on whether or not the footage that has been circulating was real, or whether or not there is more to the videos. The aerial phenomena observed in the videos remain characterized as ‘unidentified’”

Oh, well, that explains everyth… Wait, what?! The footage is real?! And you don’t know what those things are?!

Do you feel comforted? We don’t feel comforted.  It’s more like abject terror mixed with foreboding.  That’s kind of the opposite of comforted, isn’t it?

Now that we think about it, we may have preferred the lying. The government is good at lying. Go with your strengths, we say.

It gets even crazier:

Now, it is important to keep in mind that this is coming from, well, Harry Reid. For all we know, Harry Reid has anonymous sources telling him the extraterrestrials haven’t paid income taxes for 10 years.

If you’d like to learn more about these and other developments and the potential hazards these unidentified phenomena might present, we suggest you check out this new documentary:

Oops, sorry, wrong clip.

Try this one:

Sweet dreams.

J.

October 15, 2020 at 08:42 AM in Current Affairs, Science | Permalink | Comments (0)

May 15, 2020

Are You Going To Believe Them, Or Your Own Lying Eyes?

If you are confused with some of the media accounts regarding the Covid-19 virus, it could simply be because you are still relying on “old science.”

This is a common error.

Much in the way old math has been replaced by “New Math,” old science has been replaced by “New Science.”

The difference is important. Old science was grounded on the fundamental principle that conclusions must remain subject to scrutiny and therefore need to change in accordance with new data and observations whereas New Science is grounded in the fundamental principle of because I said so.

Let’s take a look at this in practice.

If you were to examine the recent data coming out of Georgia and Florida using old science, you might inadvertently conclude that it may indeed be possible to begin reopening our economy and yet still see infection rates maintain their decline and “flatten the curve.”

However, using New Science, we’re staying closed for three more months because I said so.

See how much less burdensome that is?  You barely have to think at all!  Here are your complimentary drugs and alcohol.

Those of you unfamiliar with New Science might mistakenly believe it sounds an awful lot like religion. Nothing could be further from the truth.  People who adhere to New Science believe you should accept without question the things a ruling elite tells you despite there being little to no observable evidence in support of, and possibly even contrary to, those pronouncements.

In stark contrast, people who adhere to religion are Republicans.

And that’s why smart people know they should stick to science. Science helps everything make sense. There's no reason to be confused anymore. For example, still trying to understand why engaging in anonymous sex hookups on Tinder is okay but shaking hands isn’t?

Because I said so.

J.

May 15, 2020 at 12:20 PM in Covid-19/Coronavirus, Science | Permalink | Comments (0)